Ever ask anyone for a letter of recommendation? I try not to. I already know what even my closest friends would say to a potential employer.
“Hire him if you want. Just make sure he takes his meds. And keep his wife’s phone number on file.”
That’s an exact quote from a letter of recommendation Sonny wrote for me earlier this year. I was fed up with this newspaper being owned by a New York hedge fund. So I applied for a position as a field reporter for the Western Bean Review. The publication wanted references and letters. So I asked someone I could trust to write one.
Luckily, Paul Huntsman bought The Salt Lake Tribune a month later and I came with the deal. Bean Review editors must have read Sonny’s letter because they never called for an interview.
While Sonny’s letter is not exactly an auspicious start in the job application process, he scores major points for being honest. Most letters of recommendations are full of outright lies, even if well-intentioned ones.
“Indeed, I have no reservations in stating that upon matters of trust, intelligence, humility and hard work, Harvey is second only to the Lord himself.”
Right. Rip this letter up and sprinkle it on your flowers because it’s total horse dung.
Several weeks ago, a friend asked me to write a letter for him. It was time, Scooter said, to think about the future, to improve himself, to better provide for his family, etc.
All of that is well and good, but I know Scooter. I’ve listened to him talk about his current job. He was looking for a new one for what I consider the best of reasons — his boss is a rat rectum.
Personally, I can and have worked under a lot of miserable conditions. I’ve put up with low pay, bad equipment, contrary colleagues, gunfire, even short lunch breaks. I cannot, however, tolerate working for someone whom I don’t respect.
Right now, I do. My boss is a guy named Doug or Dave or Don … something. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t see him all that often. When I do, he seems smart and pleasant enough.
I agreed to write Scooter’s letter under the following condition — that I would be circumspect to the extent that a person such as myself can be, which is to say hardly at all.
In fairness, I agreed to let Scooter read the letter before deciding whether he wished to use it in the application process or instead make an attempt on my life.
When writing a letter of reference or recommendation, it’s important (I feel) to come across as someone who isn’t trying to knob polish the recipient. You want to be taken seriously.
Basically, I wrote that Scooter was one of the finer human beings with whom I have ever associated, that he bathed regularly, cursed no more than the pope, was kind to animals, and had not actually killed anyone of whom I was aware.
Although a fine letter, Scooter chose not to use it. When asked, he said the letter made no reference regarding his job skills. Good point. I hadn’t really considered that, probably because I have no idea what it is that he does at the place where he works.
If you have to write a letter of recommendation for someone — and I strongly encourage you to avoid doing so — make sure you mention something about skills, don’t handwrite it on yellow notepad paper, and remember to sign it.